Haath dho lijiye…jaanleva viruses se…aur usse bhi ghatak rishton se! (5 min. read)
Disclaimer: Neeche likhi gayi baatein bhale hi padhne me kalpanik lagti ho, par asal mein satya ghatnaon par aadharit hain! (The following information may appear to be fictional content, but is actually based on real-life events!)
Imagine watching an ad like this one…
Kya aap ‘forever single’ memes se relate kar kar ke thak chuke hain?
Kya aap Valentine’s Day ki jagah Singles’ Day mana mana ke pak chuke hain?
Kya aapko real life me partner dhundhna chaand pe Vikram Rover dhundhne jaisa lag raha hai?
Toh aapki samasya ka samaadhaan hai hamare paas! Aap apna partner…..
Wait for it…
RENT kar sakte hain!
Sounds absurd but it’s true! In fact, it’s a booming industry in Japan! You can rent a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a wife, a husband, grandparents, grandchildren, other relatives, or an entire family!
The question is ‘WHY’? The answers lie in some famous Bollywood songs…
Kaaran no. 1: ‘Tanha Tanha yahaan pe jeena…yeh koi baat hai…koi saath nahin tera yahaan toh…yeh koi baat hai…’
Tanhayee- aka Loneliness- one of the main reasons why this is a booming industry in Japan. Rental girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, mom, dad, rental parents for single parents, infants, kuch bhi! Most rental companies have a cap on the maximum number of fake families an employee or actor can have. And these fake relationships can last for years! Mr. Yuichii Ishi, founder of the popular rental service companies has 25 fake families and has been the groom for almost 8 fake marriages (but he’s still single in his real life…लोल) So he’s the rental father to the daughter of one of his clients,who is a single mom,since the daughter was almost 8-years old. If the mom does not wish to disclose the truth to her daughter, Mr. Ishi will be acting as the father at the girl’s wedding, will be the grandfather to her children (if any), will be the ‘sasur’ to the girl’s partner for the years to come! So quite some commitment is required on part of the actors there!
Kaaran no. 2: ‘Kuch toh log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kehna…’
Ab you’d say ki yeh toh India me bhi hota hai, (of course, tabhi toh yeh gaana bana hai) par these guys hire relatives for a fake wedding…bhale hi wo dulhe ya dulhan ki family ho ya directly dulha hi kyun naa ho! One of the clients had reportedly hired a fake groom for her wedding because the real groom was ‘really’ fond of tattoos (so much so ki Ghajini ki Tarah he had his whole body covered with tattoos)…and the bride’s parents wouldn’t approve of him in that avatar (toh…replace hi kar diya!)
Kaaran no. 3: ‘Madhuban me jo kanhaiya kisi gopi se mile, radha kaise naa jale’
Yes…the Hindi film logic! If one of the partners in a relationship feels like the other person isn’t giving him/her enough attention, they can simply hire someone attractive to make their significant other jealous!
Kaaran no. 4: ‘Pal bhar ke liye koi humein pyaar kar le, jhootha hi sahi!’
This is interesting! For this, let me use a real example… So a middle-aged Mr. Nishida has lost his wife to an illness and lost his daughter due to an argument! He has many friends and has enough social activities and a job to keep him busy throughout the whole day, but jab ghar aate hi ghar kaatne ko daudta ho, toh ‘yaadein yaad aati hain’.
So he rents two females to act like his beloved wife and his daughter. It’s simple, you need to describe to these actors, how you want them to behave and they put up a great show- something that is more pleasant than one’s real family!
This case is especially interesting because the rental daughter also tried to convince the client Mr. Nishida to call up his real daughter and apologize to her (in Japan, he can hire another person to do this also!)
At Family Romance, Mr. Yuichii Ishi, believes that these services should help people solve the very issues that have caused them to rent someone through these companies.
Kaaran no. 5: ‘Tera yaar hoon main’
That’s like Tinder for friends! Your solution to the problem of repeatedly cancelled Goa plans! Friends ne cancel kiya toh unko chhodo, random strangers ke saath hi chale jao! Not just that, movies, parties, family gatherings ya koi bhi situation where you need someone to accompany you, rent someone!
There’s a guy in the U.S. named Chuck McCarthy came up with the idea of starting ‘The People Walker’- a service that enables you to hire walking partners on-demand. The idea is to promote both- fitness and companionship!
Kaaran no. 6: ‘Naa tum hume jaano…naa hum tumhein jaane…magar lagta hai kuch aisa…mera humdum mil gaya…’
When businessman Takanobu Nishimoto realised that most young Japanese girls relate to the song ‘Main kya karu raam, mujhe Buddha mil gaya…haaye…haaye buddha mil gaya’, he decided to get them acquainted with the the BigB from the movie ‘Buddhah hoga tera baap’! (suppressed urge to play rapid fire intensifies…). That’s how ‘Ossan Rental’ came into existence! ‘Ossan’ is someone who is ‘middle-aged’ (loosely translated as ‘uncle’). You can rent an ‘Ossan’ to listen to your rant for ₹700 or so (that was the rate in 2019) or seek advice from someone who is more experienced in the subject called LIFE, but someone who doesn’t know you (to avoid any gossip or rumour mills).
Kaaran no. 7: ‘Kya karein, kya naa karein, yeh kaisi mushkil haaye…koi toh bata de iska hal o mere bhai’
That’s for any situation that is too awkward or embarrassing for you to face…like apologising to someone, listening to the ‘amritwani’ from your boss when something goes wrong, or when you want to breakup with your partner!
Kaaran no. 8: ‘Cry cry itna cry karte hain kaayko…’
Obviously, for money! This is similar to the ‘Rudalis’ we have in India. Basically, you can hire paid actors to cry on demand for you…ideal for funerals (only for funerals, I guess!).
Would something like this work in India?
While the rent-a-friend thing is currently available in some parts of India, I personally don’t believe that this industry would be as successful in India as it is in Japan. Kyun? Suppose you put a picture with a ‘rental’ partner/relative of yours on your social media page. I am sure there would atleast one rishtedaar or friend who’d end up knowing or asking something about who that person is…and then you know the drill, right?
More often than not, the inherently curious or ‘panchayati’ nature of Indians wouldn’t let anonymity prevail in that business!
So, shows like ‘Sajan re jhoot mat bola’ weren’t completely weird then! Well, atleast something like this would have helped Akshay Kumar’s character in Housefull!
(Note: This article does not capture the intricacies involved in the rental service process. For that, you can watch the following videos on YouTube.)
Experience the real awkwardness here…
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